12-20-09
Analysis of a Monogamy (thinking kinda of Malcolm Gladwell; "blink")The story, unedited:
"
Our Story as told by Delane:
Our story is an interesting one as we came from completely different parts of the US to meet in the great city of Fresno, CA. Meredith grew up in a small town outside of Boston, MA called Groton. Growing up Meredith always was a big baseball fan and especially enjoyed watching the Red Sox. She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team. When Meredith graduated high school she went to college in Conneticut at a small school called Quinnipiac graduating with a Communications degree. After Meredith graduated from college she moved across country and began working for a minor league baseball team in Fresno, CA called the Fresno Grizzlies. This is where Meredith and I would meet... But, before that... Here is how I got to Fresno..
On my side of things I grew up in North Dakota in a city called Grand Forks. Growing up I always wanted to be a pro hockey player. After realizing that this was probably not going to happen I decided to do what I thought would be the next best thing working for a pro hockey team. After finishing high school, I started college in Wisconsin. After a year, I decided I would leave school and go play junior hockey for a season. After finishing the season I ended up going to finish my degree in Sports Management at Western Washington University. Upon getting my degree I looked long and hard for jobs with hockey teams and I finally got an interview with a hockey team called the Fresno Falcons. Not knowing a thing about Fresno I just assumed there must be a beach somewhere near and accepted the offer. After arriving in Fresno I quickly realized there were no beaches in sight and that I should probably give up any surfing dreams I had.
After getting settled into Fresno I found out that the team I worked for was part of a sports management group that also owned the Fresno Grizzlies baseball team. I thought this was great as I figured I could go to unlimited baseball games and drink beer. Little did I know I would be going to most of them... Just not as a spectator and more of as a worker... Now for the average un-Fresno educated person you may think oh that's not too bad. Well, after a hot stretch of 110+ degree weather and standing outside for hours at a time there began to be a bit of lack of love on my end towards going to Grizzles games. Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by. I turned to my co-pilot on the Grizzly madness Dan and said what is her name? Dan would tell me that this stunning girl was named Meredith. Now one would think I would proclaim my love for her at this point... Not the case. I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy. Over the next year my visits and interactions with Meredith became more and more frequent to the point that I almost would ask her out. One day I finally got up the nerve and she said yes!
After we had been dating for awhile I started to plant the idea of getting back up the Northwest. A few years of Fresno and I guess the idea stuck as we moved to Portland in October of 08'. After a year of living together and Meredith putting up with me I decided to ask her to marry me Labor Day weekend while out at the coast. So, here we are getting ready to take the final step together to become a family. We appreciate you spending the time reading through our wedding Album and we hope you can be a part of our special day!"
The story, with emphasis added (wants/desires/direction):
"
Our Story as told by Delane:
Our story is an interesting one as we came from completely different parts of the US to meet in the great city of Fresno, CA. Meredith grew up in a small town outside of Boston, MA called Groton. Growing up Meredith always was a big baseball fan and especially enjoyed watching the Red Sox. She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team. When Meredith graduated high school she went to college in Conneticut at a small school called Quinnipiac graduating with a Communications degree. After Meredith graduated from college she moved across country and began working for a minor league baseball team in Fresno, CA called the Fresno Grizzlies. This is where Meredith and I would meet... But, before that... Here is how I got to Fresno..
On my side of things I grew up in North Dakota in a city called Grand Forks. Growing up I always wanted to be a pro hockey player. After realizing that this was probably not going to happen I decided to do what I thought would be the next best thing working for a pro hockey team. After finishing high school, I started college in Wisconsin. After a year, I decided I would leave school and go play junior hockey for a season. After finishing the season I ended up going to finish my degree in Sports Management at Western Washington University. Upon getting my degree I looked long and hard for jobs with hockey teams and I finally got an interview with a hockey team called the Fresno Falcons. Not knowing a thing about Fresno I just assumed there must be a beach somewhere near and accepted the offer. After arriving in Fresno I quickly realized there were no beaches in sight and that I should probably give up any surfing dreams I had.
After getting settled into Fresno I found out that the team I worked for was part of a sports management group that also owned the Fresno Grizzlies baseball team. I thought this was great as I figured I could go to unlimited baseball games and drink beer. Little did I know I would be going to most of them... Just not as a spectator and more of as a worker... Now for the average un-Fresno educated person you may think oh that's not too bad. Well, after a hot stretch of 110+ degree weather and standing outside for hours at a time there began to be a bit of lack of love on my end towards going to Grizzles games. Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by. I turned to my co-pilot on the Grizzly madness Dan and said what is her name? Dan would tell me that this stunning girl was named Meredith. Now one would think I would proclaim my love for her at this point... Not the case. I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy. Over the next year my visits and interactions with Meredith became more and more frequent to the point that I almost would ask her out. One day I finally got up the nerve and she said yes!
After we had been dating for awhile I started to plant the idea of getting back up the Northwest. A few years of Fresno and I guess the idea stuck as we moved to Portland in October of 08'. After a year of living together and Meredith putting up with me I decided to ask her to marry me Labor Day weekend while out at the coast. So, here we are getting ready to take the final step together to become a family. We appreciate you spending the time reading through our wedding Album and we hope you can be a part of our special day!"
"
Our Story as told by Delane:
Our story is an interesting one as we came from completely different parts of the US to meet in the great city of Fresno, CA. Meredith grew up in a small town outside of Boston, MA called Groton. Growing up Meredith always was a big baseball fan and especially enjoyed watching the Red Sox. She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team. When Meredith graduated high school she went to college in Conneticut at a small school called Quinnipiac graduating with a Communications degree. After Meredith graduated from college she moved across country and began working for a minor league baseball team in Fresno, CA called the Fresno Grizzlies. This is where Meredith and I would meet... But, before that... Here is how I got to Fresno..
On my side of things I grew up in North Dakota in a city called Grand Forks. Growing up I always wanted to be a pro hockey player. After realizing that this was probably not going to happen I decided to do what I thought would be the next best thing working for a pro hockey team. After finishing high school, I started college in Wisconsin. After a year, I decided I would leave school and go play junior hockey for a season. After finishing the season I ended up going to finish my degree in Sports Management at Western Washington University. Upon getting my degree I looked long and hard for jobs with hockey teams and I finally got an interview with a hockey team called the Fresno Falcons. Not knowing a thing about Fresno I just assumed there must be a beach somewhere near and accepted the offer. After arriving in Fresno I quickly realized there were no beaches in sight and that I should probably give up any surfing dreams I had.
After getting settled into Fresno I found out that the team I worked for was part of a sports management group that also owned the Fresno Grizzlies baseball team. I thought this was great as I figured I could go to unlimited baseball games and drink beer. Little did I know I would be going to most of them... Just not as a spectator and more of as a worker... Now for the average un-Fresno educated person you may think oh that's not too bad. Well, after a hot stretch of 110+ degree weather and standing outside for hours at a time there began to be a bit of lack of love on my end towards going to Grizzles games. Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by. I turned to my co-pilot on the Grizzly madness Dan and said what is her name? Dan would tell me that this stunning girl was named Meredith. Now one would think I would proclaim my love for her at this point... Not the case. I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy. Over the next year my visits and interactions with Meredith became more and more frequent to the point that I almost would ask her out. One day I finally got up the nerve and she said yes!
After we had been dating for awhile I started to plant the idea of getting back up the Northwest. A few years of Fresno and I guess the idea stuck as we moved to Portland in October of 08'. After a year of living together and Meredith putting up with me I decided to ask her to marry me Labor Day weekend while out at the coast. So, here we are getting ready to take the final step together to become a family. We appreciate you spending the time reading through our wedding Album and we hope you can be a part of our special day!"
The story, with the focus on the grammar/format; specifically, on the sentence starters:
"
Our Story as told by Delane:
Our story is an interesting one as we came from completely different parts of the US to meet in the great city of Fresno, CA. Meredith grew up in a small town outside of Boston, MA called Groton. Growing up Meredith always was a big baseball fan and especially enjoyed watching the Red Sox. She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team. When Meredith graduated high school she went to college in Conneticut at a small school called Quinnipiac graduating with a Communications degree. After Meredith graduated from college she moved across country and began working for a minor league baseball team in Fresno, CA called the Fresno Grizzlies. This is where Meredith and I would meet... But, before that... Here is how I got to Fresno..
On my side of things I grew up in North Dakota in a city called Grand Forks. Growing up I always wanted to be a pro hockey player. After realizing that this was probably not going to happen I decided to do what I thought would be the next best thing working for a pro hockey team. After finishing high school, I started college in Wisconsin. After a year, I decided I would leave school and go play junior hockey for a season. After finishing the season I ended up going to finish my degree in Sports Management at Western Washington University. Upon getting my degree I looked long and hard for jobs with hockey teams and I finally got an interview with a hockey team called the Fresno Falcons. Not knowing a thing about Fresno I just assumed there must be a beach somewhere near and accepted the offer. After arriving in Fresno I quickly realized there were no beaches in sight and that I should probably give up any surfing dreams I had.
After getting settled into Fresno I found out that the team I worked for was part of a sports management group that also owned the Fresno Grizzlies baseball team. I thought this was great as I figured I could go to unlimited baseball games and drink beer. Little did I know I would be going to most of them... Just not as a spectator and more of as a worker... Now for the average un-Fresno educated person you may think oh that's not too bad. Well, after a hot stretch of 110+ degree weather and standing outside for hours at a time there began to be a bit of lack of love on my end towards going to Grizzles games. Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by. I turned to my co-pilot on the Grizzly madness Dan and said what is her name? Dan would tell me that this stunning girl was named Meredith. Now one would think I would proclaim my love for her at this point... Not the case. I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy. Over the next year my visits and interactions with Meredith became more and more frequent to the point that I almost would ask her out. One day I finally got up the nerve and she said yes!
After we had been dating for awhile I started to plant the idea of getting back up the Northwest. A few years of Fresno and I guess the idea stuck as we moved to Portland in October of 08'. After a year of living together and Meredith putting up with me I decided to ask her to marry me Labor Day weekend while out at the coast. So, here we are getting ready to take the final step together to become a family. We appreciate you spending the time reading through our wedding Album and we hope you can be a part of our special day!"
And... I almost fell asleep while finishing this last one.
I'm going to rest before I continue. Or perhaps doing
this is just fucking boring. Not the end result, but
doing it myself, the very thing that I've been saying
I need to work on. Hm.
So, I run up against the problem of "doing the work" because "it's boring". Reminds me of Diane. 'Ya gotta
do the work (homework).' Then of puritan work ethic
and practicality. Ah... another pearl covered by slime.
"pearl covered by slime" - I was reading Atlas Shrugged
and seeing how a valuable thing - working for money -
looked distasteful to me because of taxes.
She didn't know this, and when it finally came to that,
I broke down crying in the bed with her, saying that I
both wanted to get a job, but was avoiding the taxes,
and also that I didn't think I could get a job, with her
comforting me, "It'll work out; we'll get you a job."
I was reading Atlas Shrugged at the time, so I analogized
it as a (something precious, like a) diamond being covered up
by (something undesirable, like) slime, which is how religion
acted about emotions, and how taxes acted with jobs;
it could also be likened to the commercial where a guy
is looking at a bunch of cars, spots one that he likes,
starts enjoying it, rubbing his hands along it and the
such, and then a couple comes along, and he sees that
they might be interested in the car.
Thinking fast... he licks the handle, and then stands
proudly next to "his" car, and the ad ends, the couple, looking at
this with a "wtf" look, and back to the proud guy.
It could be said that school does this with learning,
putting the "slime" of "work" - that being something
that teacher tells you to do because s/he thinks it'll
be good for you but you may not be interested in it
but do it anyway because it's good for you -
and so people come to have a dislike (generalization)
for anything that looks like learning, including things
that they're interested in, because it "involves hard
work".
To this I include my reaction of falling asleep while
finishing that part up.
1. Relief - "Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by."
2. Common interest - Sports:
"She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team."
"I always wanted to be a pro hockey player."
3. Attraction - "beautiful girl" "stunning girl"Another thing to take into account is the contrast
of shyness and leadership:
"Our Story as told by Delane:"
"I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy."This story is "told by Delane". From this can be inferred a few things,
and I want to focus now on her side.
So, another rendition of the story (with editing via deletion this time), with emphasis on her:
"
Our Story as told by Delane:
Our story is an interesting one as we came from completely different parts of the US to meet in the great city of Fresno, CA. Meredith grew up in a small town outside of Boston, MA called Groton. Growing up Meredith always was a big baseball fan and especially enjoyed watching the Red Sox. She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team. When Meredith graduated high school she went to college in Conneticut at a small school called Quinnipiac graduating with a Communications degree. After Meredith graduated from college she moved across country and began working for a minor league baseball team in Fresno, CA called the Fresno Grizzlies. This is where Meredith and I would meet... But, before that... Here is how I got to Fresno..
Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by. I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy. Over the next year my visits and interactions with Meredith became more and more frequent to the point that I almost would ask her out. One day I finally got up the nerve and she said yes!
After we had been dating for awhile I started to plant the idea of getting back up the Northwest. A few years of Fresno and I guess the idea stuck as we moved to Portland in October of 08'. After a year of living together and Meredith putting up with me I decided to ask her to marry me Labor Day weekend while out at the coast. So, here we are getting ready to take the final step together to become a family. We appreciate you spending the time reading through our wedding Album and we hope you can be a part of our special day!"
And another, with the focus on the "guess"es and narrative:
"
Our Story as told by Delane:
Our story is an interesting one as we came from completely different parts of the US to meet in the great city of Fresno, CA. Meredith grew up in a small town outside of Boston, MA called Groton. Growing up Meredith always was a big baseball fan and especially enjoyed watching the Red Sox. She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team. When Meredith graduated high school she went to college in Conneticut at a small school called Quinnipiac graduating with a Communications degree. After Meredith graduated from college she moved across country and began working for a minor league baseball team in Fresno, CA called the Fresno Grizzlies. This is where Meredith and I would meet... But, before that... Here is how I got to Fresno..
On my side of things I grew up in North Dakota in a city called Grand Forks. Growing up I always wanted to be a pro hockey player. After realizing that this was probably not going to happen I decided to do what I thought would be the next best thing working for a pro hockey team. After finishing high school, I started college in Wisconsin. After a year, I decided I would leave school and go play junior hockey for a season. After finishing the season I ended up going to finish my degree in Sports Management at Western Washington University. Upon getting my degree I looked long and hard for jobs with hockey teams and I finally got an interview with a hockey team called the Fresno Falcons. Not knowing a thing about Fresno I just assumed there must be a beach somewhere near and accepted the offer. After arriving in Fresno I quickly realized there were no beaches in sight and that I should probably give up any surfing dreams I had.
After getting settled into Fresno I found out that the team I worked for was part of a sports management group that also owned the Fresno Grizzlies baseball team. I thought this was great as I figured I could go to unlimited baseball games and drink beer. Little did I know I would be going to most of them... Just not as a spectator and more of as a worker... Now for the average un-Fresno educated person you may think oh that's not too bad. Well, after a hot stretch of 110+ degree weather and standing outside for hours at a time there began to be a bit of lack of love on my end towards going to Grizzles games. Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by. I turned to my co-pilot on the Grizzly madness Dan and said what is her name? Dan would tell me that this stunning girl was named Meredith. Now one would think I would proclaim my love for her at this point... Not the case. I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy. Over the next year my visits and interactions with Meredith became more and more frequent to the point that I almost would ask her out. One day I finally got up the nerve and she said yes!
After we had been dating for awhile I started to plant the idea of getting back up the Northwest. A few years of Fresno and I guess the idea stuck as we moved to Portland in October of 08'. After a year of living together and Meredith putting up with me I decided to ask her to marry me Labor Day weekend while out at the coast. So, here we are getting ready to take the final step together to become a family. We appreciate you spending the time reading through our wedding Album and we hope you can be a part of our special day!"
Now, this time I'll add comments:
"
Our Story as told by Delane:
Our story is an interesting one as we came from completely different parts of the US to meet in the great city of Fresno, CA. Meredith grew up in a small town outside of Boston, MA called Groton. Growing up Meredith always was a big baseball fan and especially enjoyed watching the Red Sox. She hoped that one day she would be able to work for a baseball team. When Meredith graduated high school she went to college in Conneticut at a small school called Quinnipiac graduating with a Communications degree. After Meredith graduated from college she moved across country and began working for a minor league baseball team in Fresno, CA called the Fresno Grizzlies. This is where Meredith and I would meet... But, before that... Here is how I got to Fresno..
On my side of things I grew up in North Dakota in a city called Grand Forks. Growing up I always wanted to be a pro hockey player. After realizing that this was probably not going to happen {1} I decided to do what I thought would be the next best thing working for a pro hockey team. After finishing high school, I started college in Wisconsin. After a year, I decided I would leave school and go play junior hockey for a season. After finishing the season I ended up going to finish my degree in Sports Management at Western Washington University. Upon getting my degree I looked long and hard for jobs with hockey teams and I finally got an interview with a hockey team called the Fresno Falcons. Not knowing a thing about Fresno I just assumed there must be a beach somewhere near and accepted the offer. After arriving in Fresno I quickly realized there were no beaches in sight and that I should probably give up any surfing dreams I had. {2}
After getting settled into Fresno I found out that the team I worked for was part of a sports management group that also owned the Fresno Grizzlies baseball team. I thought this was great as I figured I could go to unlimited baseball games and drink beer. Little did I know I would be going to most of them... Just not as a spectator and more of as a worker... Now for the average un-Fresno educated person you may think oh that's not too bad. {Average un-Fresno education person - "unlimited baseball games and drink beer" "Just not as a spectator and more of as a worker" - 'oh that's not too bad'; " hot stretch of 110+ degree weather and standing outside for hours at a time"} Well, after a hot stretch of 110+ degree weather and standing outside for hours at a time there began to be a bit of lack of love on my end towards going to Grizzles games. Just when I thought I was completely sick of the Grizzlies one day working at a game I saw a beautiful girl walk by. {Was she there before and wasn't seen because Delane wasn't "completely sick" of the stuff?} I turned to my co-pilot on the Grizzly madness Dan and said what is her name? {Why did he "turn to [his] co-pilot? "I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy." But what is shyness?} Dan would tell me that this stunning girl was named Meredith. Now one would think I would proclaim my love for her at this point. {Because...? Obviousness from 20-20 hindsight?}.. Not the case. I was in fact lame and very quiet around her as I was what you might call shy. Over the next year my visits and interactions with Meredith became more and more frequent to the point that I almost would ask her out. {"visits and interactions" She sounds like a patient at a hospital. "became more and more frequent" Building up comfort/confidence? Why? Although, I could recall my "hiding" from the girl at Joe's party; this would be a parallel to use for understanding.} One day I finally got up the nerve and she said yes! {Had she been waiting? Was she thinking to herself "why doesn't he ask me out already?!" So little info...}
After we had been dating for awhile I started to plant the idea of getting back up the Northwest. A few years of Fresno and I guess the idea stuck as we moved to Portland in October of 08'. After a year of living together and Meredith putting up with me I decided to ask her to marry me Labor Day weekend while out at the coast. So, here we are getting ready to take the final step together to become a family. We appreciate you spending the time reading through our wedding Album and we hope you can be a part of our special day!"
Whose idea was it to have the website? Who set it up?
Why is Delane telling the story?
Now for pictures...
Home page:
Welcome
Who took the photos? Or does that matter?
Our story:
Wedding party:
Wedding Party
Adrienne Keezer
Maid of Honor
Joe Verdegan
Best Man
Ashley Tennell
Bridesmaid
Courtney Jantz
Bridesmaid
Katie Lau
Bridesmaid
Brian Williams
Groomsman
Dan Lauer
Groomsman
Geoffrey Peyton
Groomsman
Photo Gallaries:
Photo Galleries
We spent a lot of time in California making little day trips or weekends away from Fresno. Here's a little snapshot from a few of our trips!
This is where the little seed to eventually move to Portland was planted... one of the best decisions we've made!
We took a long weekend over Labor Day weekend to head up to San Francisco. We took a night tour of Alcatraz and spent a lot of time just walking around and taking in the sites. We also made a quick stop at Half Moon Bay on the way home which was beautiful!
Attractions:
Misc California:
Pismo Beach:
Portland:
Labor Day:
showing the sand dollars. The pictures are of them together, Delane
separate and making a comical context, and of them with their friends.
... I'm wrong about that - he was holding the sand dollars.
Hmmmm. What of the format of marriage itself? Where does marriage
originate? How does it originate? Why/how did we "inherit" it?
"Main Entry: mar·riage
Pronunciation: \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry
Date: 14th century
1 a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage
2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially :the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3 : an intimate or close union
2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially :the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3 : an intimate or close union
Two or more people related to each other by genetics, ado..."
"
Marriage
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"Married" and "Matrimony" redirect here. For other uses, see Married (disambiguation) and Matrimony (disambiguation).
For other uses, see Marriage (disambiguation).
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged by a variety of ways, depending on the culture or demographic. Such a union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the marital structure created is known aswedlock.
People marry for many reasons, most often including one or more of the following: legal, social, emotional, economical, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of love.[1][2]
Marriage practices are very diverse across cultures, may take many forms, and are often formalized by a ceremony called a wedding.[3] The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. In some societies these obligations also extend to certain family members of the married persons. Almost all cultures that recognize marriage also recognize adultery as a violation of the terms of marriage.[4]
External recognition can manifest in a variety of ways. Some examples include the state, a religious authority, or both. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the individuals who enter into it."
Um, interesting first sentence there: "Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship."
The modern English word "marriage" derives from Middle English mariage, which first appears in 1250-1300 C.E. This in turn is derived from Old French marier (to marry) and ultimately Latin marītāre (to marry) and marītus (of marriage).[18]"
18
"^ Oxford English Dictionary 11th Edition, "marriage""
"History
Although the institution of marriage pre-dates reliable recorded history, many cultures have legends concerning the origins of marriage. The way in which a marriage is conducted has changed over time, as has the institution itself.
One of the oldest known and recorded marriage laws is discerned from Hammurabi's Code, enacted in ancient Mesopotamia (widely considered as the cradle of civilization). The legal institution of marriage and its rules and ramifications have changed over time depending on the culture or demographic of the time.[19]
Various cultures have had their own theories on the origin of marriage. One example may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children. He might therefore be willing to pay a bride price or provide for a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access.[20] Legitimacy is the consequence of this transaction rather than its motivation. In Comanche society, married women work harder, lose sexual freedom, and do not seem to obtain any benefit from marriage.[21] But nubile women are a source of jealousy and strife in the tribe, so they are given little choice other than to get married. "In almost all societies, access to women is institutionalized in some way so as to moderate the intensity of this competition."[22] In English common law, a marriage was a voluntary contract by a man and a woman, where by agreement they choose to become husband and wife.[23] Edvard Westermarck proposed that "the institution of marriage has probably developed out of a primeval habit".[24]"
23 (emphasis added)
"Definition
The legal union of a couple as spouses. The basic elements of a marriage are: (1) the parties' legal ability to marry each other, (2) mutual consent of the parties, and (3) a marriage contract as required by law.
See also Common-law marriage.
Overview
In the English common law tradition, from which our legal doctrines and concepts have developed, a marriage was a contract based upon a voluntary private agreement by a man and a woman to become husband and wife. Marriage was viewed as the basis of the family unit and vital to the preservation of morals and civilization. Traditionally, the husband had a duty to provide a safe house, pay for necessities such as food and clothing, and live in the house. The wife's obligations were maintaining a home, living in the home, having sexual relations with her husband, and rearing the couple's children. Today the underlying concept that marriage is a legal contract still remains but due to changes in society the legal obligations are not the same.
Marriage is chiefly regulated by the states. The Supreme Court has held that states are permitted to reasonably regulate the institution by prescribing who is allowed to marry, and how the marriage can be dissolved. Entering into a marriage changes the legal status of both parties and gives both husband and wife new rights and obligations. One power that the states do not have, however, is that of prohibiting marriage in the absence of a valid reason. For example, prohibiting interracial marriage is not allowed for lack of a valid reason and because it was deemed to violate the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution.
All states limit people to one living husband or wife at a time and will not issue marriage licenses to anyone with a living spouse. Once an individual is married, the person must be legally released from the relationship by either death, divorce, or annulment before he or she may remarry. Other limitations on individuals include age and close relationship. Limitations that some but not all states prescribe are: the requirements of blood tests, good mental capacity, and being of opposite sex.
In 1996, President Clinton signed into law the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which, for federal purposes, defined marraige as "only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife" (1 U.S.C. § 7). DOMA further provided that "No State, territory, or possession of the United States, or Indian tribe, shall be required to give effect to any public act, record, or judicial proceeding of any other State, territory, possession, or tribe respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other State, territory, possession, or tribe, or a right or claim from such relationship" (28 U.S.C. § 1738C). (See Conflict of laws, Constitutional law)
A marriage may in some cases be void or voidable."
A marriage may in some cases be void or voidable."
"European marriages
For most of European history, marriage was more or less a business agreement between two families who arranged the marriages of their children. Romantic love, and even simple affection, were not considered essential.[25] Historically, the perceived necessity of marriage has been stressed.[26]
In Ancient Greece, no specific civil ceremony was required for the creation of a marriage - only mutual agreement and the fact that the couple must regard each other as husband and wife accordingly.[27] Men usually married when they were in their 20s or 30s [28] and expected their wives to be in their early teens. It has been suggested that these ages made sense for the Greek because men were generally done with military service by age 30, and marrying a young girl ensured her virginity.[29] Married Greek women had few rights in ancient Greek society and were expected to take care of the house and children.[30] Time was an important factor in Greek marriage. For example, there were superstitions that being married during a full moon was good luck and, according to Robert Flacelière, Greeks married in the winter.[29]Inheritance was more important than feelings: A woman whose father dies without male heirs can be forced to marry her nearest male relative—even if she has to divorce her husband first.[31]
Like with the Greeks, Roman marriage and divorce required no specific government or religious approval.[26] Both marriage and divorce could happen by simple mutual agreement.[26] There were several types of marriages in Roman society. The traditional ("conventional") form calledconventio in manum required a ceremony with witnesses and was also dissolved with a ceremony.[26] In this type of marriage, a woman lost her family rights of inheritance of her old family and gained them with her new one. She now was subject to the authority of her husband.[32] There was the free marriage known as sine manu. In this arrangement, the wife remained a member of her original family; she stayed under the authority of her father, kept her family rights of inheritance with her old family and did not gain any with the new family.[32] A law in theTheodosian Code (C. Th. 9.7.3) issued in 342 CE prohibited same-sex marriage, but the exact intent of the law and its relation to social practice is unclear, as only a few documented examples of same-sex marriage in ancient Rome exist.[33]
From the early Christian era (30 to 325 CE), marriage was thought of as primarily a private matter,[citation needed] with no uniform religious or other ceremony being required. However, bishop Ignatius of Antioch writing around 110 to bishop Polycarp of Smyrna exhorts, "[I]t becomes both men and women who marry, to form their union with the approval of the bishop, that their marriage may be according to God, and not after their own lust."[2]
Marriage in sixth-century Europe has been characterized as political polygamy. The Germanic warlord Clothar, despite being a baptized Christian, eventually acquired four wives for strategic reasons, including his dead brother's wife, her sister and the daughter of a captured foreign king.[25]
In the twelfth century, aristocrats believed love was incompatible with marriage and sought romance in adultery.[25] Troubadors invented courtly love which involved secret but chaste trysts between a lover and a beloved.
In fourteenth-century Europe, ordinary people could no longer choose whom to marry. The lord of one Black Forest manor decreed in 1344 that all his unmarried tenants—including widows and widowers—marry spouses of his choosing. Elsewhere, peasants wishing to pick a partner had to pay a fee.[25]
With few local exceptions, until 1545, Christian marriages in Europe were by mutual consent, declaration of intention to marry and upon the subsequent physical union of the parties.[34][35] The couple would promise verbally to each other that they would be married to each other; the presence of a priest or witnesses was not required.[36] This promise was known as the "verbum." If freely given and made in the present tense (e.g., "I marry you"), it was unquestionably binding;[34] if made in the future tense ("I will marry you"), it would constitute a betrothal. One of the functions of churches from the Middle Ages was to register marriages, which was not obligatory. There was no state involvement in marriage and personal status, with these issues being adjudicated in ecclesiastical courts.
The average age of marriage in the late 1200s into the 1500s was around 25 years of age.[37] Beginning in the 1500s it was unlawful for a woman younger than 20 years of age to marry.[35][38]
As part of the Counter-Reformation, in 1563 the Council of Trent decreed that a Roman Catholic marriage would be recognized only if the marriage ceremony was officiated by a priest with two witnesses. The Council also authorized a Catechism, issued in 1566, which defined marriage as, "The conjugal union of man and woman, contracted between two qualified persons, which obliges them to live together throughout life."[39]
In England, under the Anglican Church, marriage by consent and cohabitation was valid until the passage of Lord Hardwicke's Act in 1753. This act instituted certain requirements for marriage, including the performance of a religious ceremony observed by witnesses.[40]
As part of the Reformation, the role of recording marriages and setting the rules for marriage passed to the state. By the 1600s many of theProtestant European countries had a state involvement in marriage. As of 2000, the average marriage age range was 25–44 years for men and 22–39 years for women."
Why marry? It seems as if God is rather
preoccupied with sex; or rather, the
unlawful (State?!) use (use!) of it.
"
Recognition by the state
In the early modern period, John Calvin and his Protestant colleagues reformulated Christian marriage by enacting the Marriage Ordinance of Geneva, which imposed "The dual requirements of state registration and church consecration to constitute marriage"[39] for recognition.
In England and Wales, Lord Hardwicke's Marriage Act 1753 required a formal ceremony of marriage, thereby curtailing the practice of Fleet Marriage.[41] These were clandestine or irregular marriages performed at Fleet Prison, and at hundreds of other places. From the 1690s until the Marriage Act of 1753 as many as 300,000 clandestine marriages were performed at Fleet Prison alone.[42] The Act required a marriage ceremony to be officiated by an Anglican priest in the Anglican Church with two witnesses and registration. The Act did not apply to Jewish marriages or those of Quakers, whose marriages continued to be governed by their own customs.
In England and Wales, since 1837, civil marriages have been recognised as a legal alternative to church marriages under the Marriage Act of 1836. In Germany, civil marriages were recognised in 1875. This law permitted a declaration of the marriage before an official clerk of the civil administration, when both spouses affirm their will to marry, to constitute a legally recognised valid and effective marriage, and allowed an optional private clerical marriage ceremony."
So, "the dual requirements of thugs giving you what was yours so they can manipulate you and people who believe in fairy tales that make no sense perform some ritual... to constitute marriage." So, marriage is a concept that is rife with shoulds that obligates but doesn't obligate a man to provide for the house and a woman to have sexual relations with the man...
D'realize that marriage has become the requirement for fucking?
Fuck that - I'll put a condom on and we can do it in secret.
No, really though, marriage is stupid. Like government, it requires
far too much overhead, and puts you into debt, both financially
and emotionally.
When I say marriage is stupid, I don't mean two people getting
together. I mean two people being required to have validation
of their ability to stay together... just to fuck.
I mean two people needing these things called "laws" and "rights"
and "ceremony" as a means of legitimizing their being together.
Do we wonder why we have such emotional rife when the entire
thing is built on such a phallasy?
Do I think Delane and Meredith shouldn't be together? Heck no!
I simply mean... this is why they're going to have all of the
"troubles" associated with marriage. And marriage predicts this,
using it as its own motherfucking proof.
If they stay together, it will be despite being married, rather
than because of.
Well this turned into a bit of a rant didn't it?
No comments:
Post a Comment